This is to all my ladies, who have loved, been loved, and been hurt by the infamous stupid boy. Ladies, I have (through my infinite wisdom) compiled a list of rules we are to abide by until we are either legitimately dating on our way to marriage.
The Rules:
Rule #1- Boys are stupid. Understanding this foundational rule will further increase your life expectancy and emotional stability by 10+ plus years. Studies show most women live phenomenally and joyfully in and out of relationships once this rule is implemented in each and every scenario involving a boy.
Rule #2- DO NOT fall in LOVE until a ring (large, grossly large with multiple immense diamonds all over it) resides on your ring finger. This rule must not be violated even under death sentence.
Rule #3- Ladies, be patient. Repeat things, he does not speak English or any other language for that matter. He is also illiterate. And stupid, refer to Rule #1.
Rule #3- You are not allowed to look deep into his eyes because you might fall into his soul and that might lead to the violation of Rule 2. Dont do it!!!
Rule #4- Do not let him within one whole meter of your face, or any other body part. There are safety zones that shall be further discussed in another post but they more or less consist of arm touching (up to the elbows) and leg touching up to the ankles, if he touches your knee he has violated you and you should proceed to call 911, or me. Whichever answers first.
Rule #5- If he doesn't respond to a text message, you have absolute right to stalk and creep until you find out EXACTLY why he isn't responding. Be sure to lurk his facebook for details. If he ignores you it gives you complete right to enter stage 5 clinger mode.
Rule #6- If he ignores your call, call again, and again, and again. And, again... and again. Call until you've filled his voicemail or someone answers OR the phone just turns off. You have the right to annoy the hell out of him. This can be done multiple times a day, but only 20 times a week.
Rule #7- If he does not respond to your e-mails, or other internet messages, spend the rest of your life guessing his password and once you do screw his entire email, facebook, online life over. You may pull out all the embarressing (who cares if its true) stuff you want and post it anywhere public. Ruin his image completely. Make him suffer, who does he think he is not responding to your emails?!
Rule #8- Do not let him kiss you. If he tries, make sure he can't have babies. If he tries again, knife him. If he tries again, call me. But when I get there I expect to see blood drained from the punctures you've made with your knife, the minimum standard for this is 4.5L withdrawn.
Rule #9- If he lies to you about where he is, or with whom he is with call his parentals and scream like you're in labour. Shriek like its nobodies business, and then politely ask where he may be found. If they are unsure, say the last time you heard he was going to a casino or stripper bar or some horrendous place. Lies are completely valid.
Rule #10- IF HE DECIDES TO SEE ANOTHER GIRL....... KILL HIM. End his life. Jesus said it was okay for you to take a mans life when he plays with your heart and then proceeds to date another chick.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhaHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA
AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAhAHA
I just burst out laughing. Oh the things some girls do! Hahaha, dont think I've done many if any of these myself... mostly because I was only ever in love once and I was too young to think of anything this amazinly evil. But I am sure you all know someone who is, or has done many of these crazy crazy things. Hahahah.... This is epic. Please do NOT actually follow any of these. Really-- just pray for him and be there when you can without being naive. Remember-- they're human too and just like we have our flaws they have theirs. Forgive them, if Jesus loves them then so can you. If He can forgive him in the same mannor He forgave you then follow in those footsteps.
All my single ladies, put your hands up.
WOAH, uh OH
LOVE, deeply, fiercely..
-S
XO.xo
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Whatcha doin?
as I sit at my laptop, I think about all of the people in the world....
and who they are, how they are... what they are... millions and millions of human beings each with a story to tell... somebodies to someone... as I sit in this library.. I know...
someone is putting their hungry child to sleep, with no hope of dawn bringing food
someone is in pain, on a hospital bed unsure of what the future holds
someone is alone, lost, and hopeless
someone is trying really, really hard to make the cut
someone is hiding
someone lost their lover, and cant attain reality
someone is hoping that the clouds will bring rain and let the land yield
someone is chasing their chicken
someone is sleeping, and dreaming
someone is laughing
someone is at war
someone is crying
someone is praying
someone is counting their hundred dollar bills
someone is poor, and has nothing but lint and gum in their pockets
someone is screaming
someone is giving birth
someone is about to die
someone is studying
someone is driving
someone is playing a musical instrument
someone is shoveling snow
what are you doing?
Love,
-S
and who they are, how they are... what they are... millions and millions of human beings each with a story to tell... somebodies to someone... as I sit in this library.. I know...
someone is putting their hungry child to sleep, with no hope of dawn bringing food
someone is in pain, on a hospital bed unsure of what the future holds
someone is alone, lost, and hopeless
someone is trying really, really hard to make the cut
someone is hiding
someone lost their lover, and cant attain reality
someone is hoping that the clouds will bring rain and let the land yield
someone is chasing their chicken
someone is sleeping, and dreaming
someone is laughing
someone is at war
someone is crying
someone is praying
someone is counting their hundred dollar bills
someone is poor, and has nothing but lint and gum in their pockets
someone is screaming
someone is giving birth
someone is about to die
someone is studying
someone is driving
someone is playing a musical instrument
someone is shoveling snow
what are you doing?
Love,
-S
Friday, October 16, 2009
The seasons; they have changed.. and so have you
I'd like to say I'm a pretty consistent person.
I'm all about that, keeping it consistent.. NOT predictable, but consistent. If you think about its the cause of so many of our problems-- people changing their minds. They are inconsistent. They say one thing, but do another. They are one way in the morning, and another by night. Its hard to be involved with someone like that-- be a friendship, a marriage, a relationship of any sort. You never know what to do.... what brings comfort and what brings destruction. You have no basis on to place judgement of any given situation... So.. you just never know what to do.
And it consumes you......
Would I be passing judgment if I said that those people just aren't honest? Neither with you or themselves. Cause when you think about it inconsistency roots from dishonesty. They weren't honest the first time so their behavior the second time wont be the same. I guess that makes them liars too... doesn't it?
People live off patterns; life patterns. I know my mom loves me and that consistent love provides the foundation for support in my life. I know my dad believes that I am the greatest thing ever-- and will go to the ends of the world to make me smile. If mom were to ever change that my life would crumble, if dad stopped believing I would loose faith in myself. You gotta make sure you're aware of WHO you're putting your faith in. Trusting them with your heart is but the greatest thing you can trust them with. I would give my car, my grades, my identity over to anyone before I gave over my heart. But people change......
It's really, really hard to watch someone you care for change. To become someone that they don't even really know, someone no one really knows. They lose themselves, and it sucks. It sucks because you cant help, it sucks because you have to leave.... it sucks because things are no longer in your hands and nothing you can say or do will change that. So you're left cornered, and either way out will be painful. You can completely forget about the person they were, and what they meant to you and just cut them right out. OR, you can (if you're heart is brave enough) stick around and accept that the old person you knew and loved won't be coming home anytime soon and try and adjust to the new. But what happens when the change is for the worse, not the better...? Then its flat out unwise to stay... isnt it?
It is...
Ever wonder how the seasons come and go as they please? There is no negotiating with them, they answer to no one. The cold winds come and kill the plants and their leaves, forcing all the animals to either migrate or prepare for winter. Perhaps it isnt as subtle and effortless change as I once thought. It is really hard actually, think about it you have to adjust the way you live.
Change happens... and I know that. And some change, like winter... can be seen as for the worse. But even the SEASONS are CONSISTENT because fall will bring winter, and winter spring, and spring gives rise to the summer sun. They have a consistent mechanism and function.
Sometimes... it's easy to believe........
Sometimes, it hurts more than it seems.
One day you're near.. and then you go.
One day its clear.. and then you burn.
Fall,
-S
I'm all about that, keeping it consistent.. NOT predictable, but consistent. If you think about its the cause of so many of our problems-- people changing their minds. They are inconsistent. They say one thing, but do another. They are one way in the morning, and another by night. Its hard to be involved with someone like that-- be a friendship, a marriage, a relationship of any sort. You never know what to do.... what brings comfort and what brings destruction. You have no basis on to place judgement of any given situation... So.. you just never know what to do.
And it consumes you......
Would I be passing judgment if I said that those people just aren't honest? Neither with you or themselves. Cause when you think about it inconsistency roots from dishonesty. They weren't honest the first time so their behavior the second time wont be the same. I guess that makes them liars too... doesn't it?
People live off patterns; life patterns. I know my mom loves me and that consistent love provides the foundation for support in my life. I know my dad believes that I am the greatest thing ever-- and will go to the ends of the world to make me smile. If mom were to ever change that my life would crumble, if dad stopped believing I would loose faith in myself. You gotta make sure you're aware of WHO you're putting your faith in. Trusting them with your heart is but the greatest thing you can trust them with. I would give my car, my grades, my identity over to anyone before I gave over my heart. But people change......
It's really, really hard to watch someone you care for change. To become someone that they don't even really know, someone no one really knows. They lose themselves, and it sucks. It sucks because you cant help, it sucks because you have to leave.... it sucks because things are no longer in your hands and nothing you can say or do will change that. So you're left cornered, and either way out will be painful. You can completely forget about the person they were, and what they meant to you and just cut them right out. OR, you can (if you're heart is brave enough) stick around and accept that the old person you knew and loved won't be coming home anytime soon and try and adjust to the new. But what happens when the change is for the worse, not the better...? Then its flat out unwise to stay... isnt it?
It is...
Ever wonder how the seasons come and go as they please? There is no negotiating with them, they answer to no one. The cold winds come and kill the plants and their leaves, forcing all the animals to either migrate or prepare for winter. Perhaps it isnt as subtle and effortless change as I once thought. It is really hard actually, think about it you have to adjust the way you live.
Change happens... and I know that. And some change, like winter... can be seen as for the worse. But even the SEASONS are CONSISTENT because fall will bring winter, and winter spring, and spring gives rise to the summer sun. They have a consistent mechanism and function.
Sometimes... it's easy to believe........
Sometimes, it hurts more than it seems.
One day you're near.. and then you go.
One day its clear.. and then you burn.
Fall,
-S
Monday, October 12, 2009
Turkey time!
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I thought I would share some things I am thankful for right now. At this very moment in time....
- redemption, freedom, and grace solely through the cross of Christ
- that my blood clots normally
- I have perfect vision in both eyes and see colors come alive
- none of my freckles are malignant
- that I (well, parentals included) am paying my way through school, and don't have any loans or student debts
- the sea and its vastness; the ability to swallow up the world; to submerge each and every detail
- I've had my own car since I was 17, and, its a blessing to say the friggin least
- I have never been in an accident, I am actually really really grateful for this one
- my heartbreak, that has only drawn me closer to the heart of Jesus, that has only drawn me deeper into other relationships, and that has given me overwhelming support from people who care
- friends, who have emptied themselves tirelessly to bring the absolute best out of me at endless costs to them
- family, who have and will continue to put my life and well being before their own at any given moment
- that my foot has finally healed and though I cant run, I can walk
- the ability to taste, and smell food
- the fiances to eat, cook (oh my...) and purchase different types of food
- living in Canada, where there are police to call for help, firemen to call for fires, centers for support, shelters for food, places to apply for jobs, a doctor for sickness, a counselor for weakness, movies to rent at Blockbuster, electricity and water constantly at our fingertips...
- that my brain is able to retrieve, and store memories properly
- the opportunity to help serve my homeless friends in downtown Toronto, quite possibly some of the most humble and faithful people I've ever met
- that my central and peripheral nervous system work together as a whole and not separately
- for my guitar, that brings me so much peace even when WWIII is battling inside my head
- that I have the ability to dream... in more ways than I know how to explain
- the tears, that challenge, change, captivate, control, conspire, and compete within me for the better; always.
- the empire Christ built Himself in the depths of my heart
- for the lighthouse on the coast, that always brings me home.. even through the most violet and raging storms
- the wind; and its complete inability to be tamed, caught, or negotiated with
Mmm. Yes, I am the wind.
Which, really isn't a good thing.
Hmm..
-S
- redemption, freedom, and grace solely through the cross of Christ
- that my blood clots normally
- I have perfect vision in both eyes and see colors come alive
- none of my freckles are malignant
- that I (well, parentals included) am paying my way through school, and don't have any loans or student debts
- the sea and its vastness; the ability to swallow up the world; to submerge each and every detail
- I've had my own car since I was 17, and, its a blessing to say the friggin least
- I have never been in an accident, I am actually really really grateful for this one
- my heartbreak, that has only drawn me closer to the heart of Jesus, that has only drawn me deeper into other relationships, and that has given me overwhelming support from people who care
- friends, who have emptied themselves tirelessly to bring the absolute best out of me at endless costs to them
- family, who have and will continue to put my life and well being before their own at any given moment
- that my foot has finally healed and though I cant run, I can walk
- the ability to taste, and smell food
- the fiances to eat, cook (oh my...) and purchase different types of food
- living in Canada, where there are police to call for help, firemen to call for fires, centers for support, shelters for food, places to apply for jobs, a doctor for sickness, a counselor for weakness, movies to rent at Blockbuster, electricity and water constantly at our fingertips...
- that my brain is able to retrieve, and store memories properly
- the opportunity to help serve my homeless friends in downtown Toronto, quite possibly some of the most humble and faithful people I've ever met
- that my central and peripheral nervous system work together as a whole and not separately
- for my guitar, that brings me so much peace even when WWIII is battling inside my head
- that I have the ability to dream... in more ways than I know how to explain
- the tears, that challenge, change, captivate, control, conspire, and compete within me for the better; always.
- the empire Christ built Himself in the depths of my heart
- for the lighthouse on the coast, that always brings me home.. even through the most violet and raging storms
- the wind; and its complete inability to be tamed, caught, or negotiated with
Mmm. Yes, I am the wind.
Which, really isn't a good thing.
Hmm..
-S
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Some bonds are thicker than blood... this is one of them <33
Sometimes I wonder why I have so, so many amazing people in my life.
SO many people, who spend so much time loving me, caring for me, supporting me, encouraging me, holding me, pushing me, guiding me, and being so much more than I could ever ask for.
As far as names go, I want you to know if you're reading this then its for you.
I actually want you to know a few things....
I want you to know that these days would not have passed as painlessly and smoothly as they did without you. That every word of your encouragement kept me going, and in your HOPE and trust I found my strength. I want you to know that you bring out a power in me, that I didn't even know I had and that I am so unworthy of your affection. I wish I had something to give you, something more than a post to tell you how much you really mean to me. I want you to know that you give me peace in my weakness. You make me laugh, even when I feel like 35 cents of garbage on the street. Your grace brings me to my knees, and I am so seriously humbled to call you my friend. Good friends are a rare thing in this world and I have spent much time wondering why I happen to have so many. I am so sure that I have flopped tirelessly on all of you at some point, and I really wish that I had more time to give each of you. But know that you are worth your weight in the finest of gold and nothing I could retrieve for you on this earth could do my heart justice. Nothing is good enough, nothing could even satisfy the thankfulness in my heart right now.
Your support, not just this week, or month... but through the years that I have known each of you has brought me to where I am and though I owe it to the love of Christ I say without a doubt He has used many of you endlessly for so many things. You've opened my eyes and boxed in my ears when I've sworn them shut. You've made me laugh, you've made me cry, you've made me think, you've made me wrestle-- and doubt... you've pushed my faith in so many things, and in so many ways. You've hit me, hugged me, stolen from me, made fun of me, touched me, loved me, complimented me, eaten with me, eaten my food (you know who you are), and just been one of the best things that could possibly have happened to me.
This, is truth. I promise.
With all the love I had, have, and will have to give...
-S
SO many people, who spend so much time loving me, caring for me, supporting me, encouraging me, holding me, pushing me, guiding me, and being so much more than I could ever ask for.
As far as names go, I want you to know if you're reading this then its for you.
I actually want you to know a few things....
I want you to know that these days would not have passed as painlessly and smoothly as they did without you. That every word of your encouragement kept me going, and in your HOPE and trust I found my strength. I want you to know that you bring out a power in me, that I didn't even know I had and that I am so unworthy of your affection. I wish I had something to give you, something more than a post to tell you how much you really mean to me. I want you to know that you give me peace in my weakness. You make me laugh, even when I feel like 35 cents of garbage on the street. Your grace brings me to my knees, and I am so seriously humbled to call you my friend. Good friends are a rare thing in this world and I have spent much time wondering why I happen to have so many. I am so sure that I have flopped tirelessly on all of you at some point, and I really wish that I had more time to give each of you. But know that you are worth your weight in the finest of gold and nothing I could retrieve for you on this earth could do my heart justice. Nothing is good enough, nothing could even satisfy the thankfulness in my heart right now.
Your support, not just this week, or month... but through the years that I have known each of you has brought me to where I am and though I owe it to the love of Christ I say without a doubt He has used many of you endlessly for so many things. You've opened my eyes and boxed in my ears when I've sworn them shut. You've made me laugh, you've made me cry, you've made me think, you've made me wrestle-- and doubt... you've pushed my faith in so many things, and in so many ways. You've hit me, hugged me, stolen from me, made fun of me, touched me, loved me, complimented me, eaten with me, eaten my food (you know who you are), and just been one of the best things that could possibly have happened to me.
This, is truth. I promise.
With all the love I had, have, and will have to give...
-S
Friday, October 2, 2009
THS
So.... I realized today that I suffer from a rare cardiovascular disorder.
Tender- Heart- Syndrome.
Now, any Health Sci student will tell you that syndrome and disorder are different for a few reasons, the primary one being that syndrome just has so many more symptoms and effects on different areas whereas disorder is slightly more precise. With that said, I am going to try and give out a proper diagnoses for THS and hopefully if you guys have it you will do the right thing... (jump off a bridge cause TSH SUCKS!) hahaha NO! JK! Please don't even entertain the possibility of suicide. Atleast consult with me first. Anyway, the signs and symptoms of THS are as follows:
-an achy breaky heart
-over thinking everything
-having your heart in a million pieces on the floor on a weekly/monthly basis
-making huge deals out of non-existant-in-the-first-place deals
-being up at 3am blogging
-wondering 'whatifwhatifwhatif' till you have cardiac arrest
-endless debates with yourself regarding whether or not you should say it
-making yourself vunerable without realizing it
-hurting when it really shouldnt
-caring too much and being unable to understand why they dont care as much as you do
-being stuck on something you really should have let go AGES ago
-being stuck on a piece of crap boy that you really should have let go ages ago
do I sound like a psycho woman or does someone feel me?
UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
There is something wrong with me, I know it. Just, just dont judge me.
If you suffer from TSH, there is no cure. Your life is doomed and you will be stuck in reverse forever. You can be hopeless and miserable all you want. Congrats. (hahahahha- oh the optimism in that paragraph)
FrigmyLIFE
But if there is one thing I've learned, it's that I have a fierce heart-- and I need to have the courage to follow it at all costs.
Stuck.
-S
Tender- Heart- Syndrome.
Now, any Health Sci student will tell you that syndrome and disorder are different for a few reasons, the primary one being that syndrome just has so many more symptoms and effects on different areas whereas disorder is slightly more precise. With that said, I am going to try and give out a proper diagnoses for THS and hopefully if you guys have it you will do the right thing... (jump off a bridge cause TSH SUCKS!) hahaha NO! JK! Please don't even entertain the possibility of suicide. Atleast consult with me first. Anyway, the signs and symptoms of THS are as follows:
-an achy breaky heart
-over thinking everything
-having your heart in a million pieces on the floor on a weekly/monthly basis
-making huge deals out of non-existant-in-the-first-place deals
-being up at 3am blogging
-wondering 'whatifwhatifwhatif' till you have cardiac arrest
-endless debates with yourself regarding whether or not you should say it
-making yourself vunerable without realizing it
-hurting when it really shouldnt
-caring too much and being unable to understand why they dont care as much as you do
-being stuck on something you really should have let go AGES ago
-being stuck on a piece of crap boy that you really should have let go ages ago
do I sound like a psycho woman or does someone feel me?
UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
There is something wrong with me, I know it. Just, just dont judge me.
If you suffer from TSH, there is no cure. Your life is doomed and you will be stuck in reverse forever. You can be hopeless and miserable all you want. Congrats. (hahahahha- oh the optimism in that paragraph)
FrigmyLIFE
But if there is one thing I've learned, it's that I have a fierce heart-- and I need to have the courage to follow it at all costs.
Stuck.
-S
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