The seasons; they have changed.. and so have you

I'd like to say I'm a pretty consistent person.

I'm all about that, keeping it consistent.. NOT predictable, but consistent. If you think about its the cause of so many of our problems-- people changing their minds. They are inconsistent. They say one thing, but do another. They are one way in the morning, and another by night. Its hard to be involved with someone like that-- be a friendship, a marriage, a relationship of any sort. You never know what to do.... what brings comfort and what brings destruction. You have no basis on to place judgement of any given situation... So.. you just never know what to do.

And it consumes you......

Would I be passing judgment if I said that those people just aren't honest? Neither with you or themselves. Cause when you think about it inconsistency roots from dishonesty. They weren't honest the first time so their behavior the second time wont be the same. I guess that makes them liars too... doesn't it?
People live off patterns; life patterns. I know my mom loves me and that consistent love provides the foundation for support in my life. I know my dad believes that I am the greatest thing ever-- and will go to the ends of the world to make me smile. If mom were to ever change that my life would crumble, if dad stopped believing I would loose faith in myself. You gotta make sure you're aware of WHO you're putting your faith in. Trusting them with your heart is but the greatest thing you can trust them with. I would give my car, my grades, my identity over to anyone before I gave over my heart. But people change......

It's really, really hard to watch someone you care for change. To become someone that they don't even really know, someone no one really knows. They lose themselves, and it sucks. It sucks because you cant help, it sucks because you have to leave.... it sucks because things are no longer in your hands and nothing you can say or do will change that. So you're left cornered, and either way out will be painful. You can completely forget about the person they were, and what they meant to you and just cut them right out. OR, you can (if you're heart is brave enough) stick around and accept that the old person you knew and loved won't be coming home anytime soon and try and adjust to the new. But what happens when the change is for the worse, not the better...? Then its flat out unwise to stay... isnt it?

It is...

Ever wonder how the seasons come and go as they please? There is no negotiating with them, they answer to no one. The cold winds come and kill the plants and their leaves, forcing all the animals to either migrate or prepare for winter. Perhaps it isnt as subtle and effortless change as I once thought. It is really hard actually, think about it you have to adjust the way you live.

Change happens... and I know that. And some change, like winter... can be seen as for the worse. But even the SEASONS are CONSISTENT because fall will bring winter, and winter spring, and spring gives rise to the summer sun. They have a consistent mechanism and function.

Sometimes... it's easy to believe........
Sometimes, it hurts more than it seems.
One day you're near.. and then you go.

One day its clear.. and then you burn.



Fall,
-S